As COVID-19 numbers drop, the way of life is starting to feel normal again. But some people who had the virus say that they may never be able to shake the trauma.

Bill Squires helps run big events at MetLife Stadium. On Sunday, he will be working security at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles for the Super Bowl. But he says that any game would do because he is not the same guy as he once was.

“I may look the same, I may sound the same. But inside I am not the same,” he says.

Squires spent one month on a ventilator and another five months eating through a tube following a bout with the virus.

The 68-year-old says that he was born twice. The second time was on May 2, 2020, the day the staff at Saint Barnabas Medical Center finally told him that he was going to make it. He calls them heroes.

But nearly two years later, he says that any reminder of his time battling the virus brings the emotions flooding back.

“It’s just wonderful to wake up,” he says.

Wonderful to see his wife and family. A graduate of the Naval Academy, Squires even witnessed his alma mater beat Army in New Jersey.

For all the ways that COVID-19 has broken, battered and divided the world, Squires says that it made him stronger. Although he admits there are better ways to get there.

“It’s not the self-improvement program I would recommend to people. But I know I came out of it stronger mentally, emotionally, physically. I’m stronger and certainly spiritually I’m stronger,’ he says.

Squires says that he still checks the COVID numbers before bed. He says that he feels for others who may be suffering.