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Award-winning author Jennifer B. Wallace takes a closer look at this dynamic in her new book, "Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – And What We Can Do About It."

Parents want children to succeed in life. But for today's kids, the pressure to achieve can be overwhelming -- and lead to problems such as anxiety and depression. The "be Well" team spoke to award-winning author Jennifer B. Wallace for a closer look.

UNDER PRESSURE

Long Island

LI | Weather

LIFORECAST

I'm meteorologist Rich Hoffman through hyperlocal weather forecast. The rest of today. A little breaks of sunshine. We have a couple of spotty rain or snow showers moving on through. We've had a few flakes flying out over the east end. Now, through the rest of today, still that chance of a rain or snow shower. Now, in Huntington through this evening it's cold. We top out to a high of 41. By the time we're coming home from work around five o'clock, 39 degrees, we're in the thirties, skies will clear overnight and tomorrow morning, cold temperatures around 25 to 30 degrees. So out the door today this afternoon, 41 degrees, it's cold that rain and snow shower, wind chills have been in the twenties and thirties. So if you're outside the gloves, the hat, the warm boots and also the scarf and keep yourself warm. The rest of today, take a look. Now, tomorrow. So it's cold today. Tomorrow, the chance of a rain or snow shower in the afternoon hours of Thursday, a high of only 40 to start off hot for Thursday night, slight chance of a rain or snow shower early and then overnight hours of Thursday into Friday, skies will start to clear and weather will be improving on your Friday. How about a temperature near 50 degrees? So, changes coming our way towards the weekend, Saturdays dry Sunday. We're watching the storm. It will have strong winds and the timing of the rain looks to be during the afternoon and evening hours of Sunday. If it gets delayed a little bit more, it's more towards Sunday night. So the threat of some brief heavy rain, Sunday night into early Monday morning and some strong winds, we could have winds on Sunday night, 40 to 50 MPH. Recapping today. Temperatures, low forties that rain in passing snow shower tonight, turning colder lows 25 to 30. It's a cold start to your Thursday morning. Saturday looks good at 54. Then that rain and wind Sunday night into Monday morning.

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Weather

New Jersey

NJ Weather Stories

Weather stories

NJ | Weather

NJFORECAST

It so that it feels like December today, very seasonal with the look and feel those passing flurries and these highs today topping off close to 43 degrees, 44 for a large portion of us, many of us across the state, Newark Edison to New Brunswick down to Patterson Biscay as well, 43 degrees with a mixture of more clouds in play. Now, things are definitely gonna change come this weekend, we are looking for a big strong system and with much more confidence, heavy rain winds gusting upwards to 50 mile per hour range or even higher in some spots and of course, some squall lines also a big concerns here with possible impacts being of course also coastal flooding into Sunday night heading into the overnight. We're still continuing to fine tune these details but really confident on this look here. So squall lines, those are the quick passing sharp front line that we are expecting to notice some heavy rain as well as some gusty winds associated with it, notice a direction here out of the south and southeast. And that's what also makes it particularly concerning for coastal communities and coastal flooding being a big factor as well and potential flurries today, we notice a cold and that will continue to linger on also for tomorrow morning. Things clear up nicely as we progress throughout the day today, but don't be fooled that cold air continues to funnel from northern regions and we noticed a little bit of clearing up. Now, the potential for us to notice once again those snowflakes tomorrow morning heading into the afternoon is very likely. So wind swept, flurries. Once again, showers also staying a bit more to the south. As to be expected, Friday clears out nicely and we slowly start to regain the warmth. But then that cold front really comes through into the later half of the weekend. Here's a look at our exclusive 10 day forecast.

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Brooklyn

BK | Weather

BXFORECAST

And plus scan the QR code right there for more episodes, videos and photos. All right, we're getting another check of the weather with storm watch team. Meteorologist Alan Nos and Alan today is cold. It's going to warm up. But then also we're going to have a storm. When is all this happening, right. So the warm up is going to happen starting Friday, Friday and Saturday will start warming up. And then Sunday, all that warm air, it's going to be a clash between the warmth and the December cold, heavy rain is looking likely that's I think one of our biggest impacts when it comes to Sunday again. Keep in mind today, it's still Wednesday. We have several days to track the storm. But what we know so far is that there could be a possibility of flooding conditions. This is going to be for a later Sunday evening into Sunday night. On top of that, imagine it's not just rain, it's a windswept rain, wind swept thunderstorms. In fact, wind gusts could easily be over 40 MPH, especially if you're east of night five east of the Hutch where you're closer to the water along country club throgs neck locust point. These areas could see wind gusts over 50 MPH. Of course, the exact details, we're going to be fine tuning over the next couple of days including the big temperature drop that follows the storm on Monday. So you're going to have to just stay tuned with us over the next couple of days. Hope will also have an update in the evening. So you definitely want to stay tuned for that again. This pattern, it's ripe for producing a big time storm Sunday. Out ahead of the storm again, we're going to get that warm flow from Florida, bringing up sub temperatures that are going to be near 60 degrees on Saturday. But as the storm approaches Sunday, it's going to pick up not just the warmth but the moisture, a tropical connection, in fact, and what that's going to do is produce the threat of some heavy rain, especially Sunday evening and Sunday night. In the meantime, though, it's just cold, it's December cold. In fact, out the door tomorrow morning, you're definitely going to want that coffee in hand warming you up or of course, those mittens we're going to see 28 for North Bay Chester, 29 Mott Haven, 30 for City Island and a little bit better of a chance for a couple of these festive flakes. Our latest feature cast, in fact, actually showing a whole snow shower might be falling at a decent clip at around lunchtime. This is at 1230. So 37 Park Chester don't expect it to stick, but it'll look a little bit like a snow globe for just a few minutes there, Thursday afternoon and then it's just going to stay cold as we usher in Hanukkah tomorrow night, around 35 degrees when the sun goes down. And then of course, the warm up begins Friday, Saturday near 60 Sunday, hey, could make a run at 70. But with those thunderstorms, it's not a day that you want to be outside. It's a roller coaster. At least for the start of Hanukkah. We have good weather. So that's something to look forward to. But, wow, Sunday. Yeah, you'll be watching second half. All right, Alan, thank you. Well, Janice.

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Westchester

WC | Weather

HVFORECAST

Santa is very busy these days. We know the clock is ticking until his big day of Christmas. Matt. Yes. And the clock is ticking too for my shopping to start as we get into say, maybe December 20th or so, maybe that will be a good time to start doing it. I want to focus on some serious things though, first and foremost, here today, chilly, a few flurries. But let's head to the map right now and talk about what we might be looking at for later in the day on Sunday. Now, the timing with this will change over the next couple of days, but we're still watching the chance for some moderate to heavy rain for at least a couple of hours and temperatures surging up to near 60 degrees later Sunday evening and Sunday night, potentially ending very early on Monday and there will be some wind with that as well. Again, that's late Sunday, potentially into early on Monday. So something to keep in the back of our minds for right now as we plan ahead, future cast as we go throughout the rest of today, a couple of flurries around through about five o'clock, we've had some flurries around, even a few rain sprinkles at times, go back to around freezing or below this evening and overnight and we actually get a little bit of some partial clearing for a few hours during the overnight that will allow temperatures to drop into the twenties. More clouds move in mid-morning tomorrow and by mid to late morning and through the early part of the afternoon tomorrow, we will have another chance for a few scattered light snow showers and flurries again. Nothing that's amounting to anything on the ground though. So dress warmly. The rest of today, it's chilly outside right now. Temperatures around 40 at best scattered flurries through the afternoon and ending early this evening. Then some partial clearing overnight tonight, a cold night, a night to maybe even add the extra layer into early on Thursday. So tomorrow we do this all over again where we have a couple of scattered flurries midday, mostly cloudy, chilly near 40 upper forties, Friday pick of the week. Still Saturday with a mix of sun and clouds. Sunday will start off fine, but it's turning more windy temperatures near 60 late in the day with rain Sunday night next week shaping up to be mostly dry with highs in the forties.

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Hudson Valley

HV | Weather

Bronx

BX | Weather

Connecticut

CT | Weather

CTFORECAST

Trip to Ridgefield this afternoon, snow flurry squalls passing through. I don't know John. I guess we're cold enough out there and we're at that time of year. Yeah, we are Becky. And again, we were looking at some flurries earlier on this morning. Shout out to our producer, Jeremy, you sent this in like one minute before the show earlier this afternoon. But again, we really are seeing that, that colder air, even some dry air back out across the north and northwest. A few lake effect showers back out across western New York. We're really seeing that driving into our neck of the woods. No accumulation. But I know for some really is nice to see as we are just 15 days out from the official start of winter, but it's already feeling like it. 41 is a forecasted high for today. A lot of us not even making it out of the thirties that puts us several degrees cooler than what we should be. 47 is what the National weather service recognizes as average. Here's a look at this afternoon again, mostly cloudy skies. We're gonna try to find a poke of some sunshine for some spots out toward west end in Bridgeport, but still you're gonna need to bundle up. It's, that chill is just gonna continue to linger around. Not really seeing much sun to help warm things up a chance for a few more flakes as we head into later parts of your afternoon. Clear for tonight. It's gonna be a cold one as temperatures dropping off down into the twenties for lows and we're waking up to that into your tomorrow morning with yes another gray start and a chance for some more flurries and a little bit of some light snow shower activity as we push forward. Getting into your tomorrow afternoon, it's gonna be chilly throughout your tomorrow. It's gonna be the coldest day on tap. Like numbers are really only gonna be in the twenties throughout the day. In fact, here's a look at your tomorrow afternoon when we try to make it into the thirties, we're still only feeling like the upper twenties and for some spots, it's gonna feel like the teens for the tomorrow morning. So again, if you're someone waiting for the bus or some type type of public transportation, you do need to bundle up when I return, we're really gonna focus in and get a timeline of what we're looking at for your Sunday because while it does uh warm up nicely with those temperatures close to 60 we do have some rain up ahead.

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LIneverenough925_2023-09-25-10-00-30

Live Life Better: How pressure to succeed can lead to anxiety and depression in kids

As parents, we all want our Children to succeed in life. But for today's kids, the pressure to achieve can be really overwhelming and it can lead to problems with anxiety and even depression award winning author Jennifer B. Wallace takes a closer look at this dynamic in her new book. Never enough. When Achievement culture becomes toxic and what we can do about it. She is here with us now on be well to share her tips and her insight. Thanks so much for, for being here and I feel like we way we were just like we have kids. We feel this is that the response that you usually get from people very much. So everybody, it's this never enough feeling that kids are feeling. But also we as parents are feeling like no matter what we're doing, it never feels like enough. So what did you notice about parents and kids that was happening that caused you to want to write this book. So I have three teenagers myself and I was noticing just how different their childhoods were than my own. Growing up, our weekends were so much busier homework, felt so much heavier. There was a real, real emphasis on early childhood success and achievement that I didn't feel growing up. I didn't either. We got to play. We had down time. We also had no social media. Thank God. You know, it's just such AAA different time. So how do we break ourselves out of this? Yeah. Well, that's, that's a great question. Read the book. But really what it is is understanding the impulses that we have for parents examining our own psychological addicts for maybe the way achievement was talked about when we were growing up and really taking notice of the messages in society among their peers, what they're hearing on the team from their teachers and at home trying to create a kind of haven for our kids away from the pressure, a place where they can recover where their work doesn't feel contingent on their performance. But what if it's the kid putting this pressure on themselves? Like I tell my kids just have fun, just do your best and sometimes it's still like, but I have to do more. I have to do better than the next person. So what do you do when they're the one pressuring themselves? Parents? It's our job to be balance keepers and to put up guard rails to not necessarily pursue every activity and everything our kids wants to do. We need to look at their calendar and we need to make sure every day has time for down time, family time and time with peers and it's our job as parents to guard that time and sleep. Now, I know you, you called some kids healthy striver, what put them into that category? Yes. So I went for the book, I went in search of these kids to see what they had in common. And I outlined it all in the book, but it boils down to this idea that they had a high level of what psychologists call mattering. They felt like they were valued for who they were deep at their core, away from their achievements and away from their successes and they were dependent on to add value back to their families, to their schools, to their communities. And what mattering did is it acted like a protective shield and it helped to give them resilience. They knew that they mattered for who they were deep inside and they had social proof by giving back to others. So is that the main goal that we should try to achieve with our kids is making sure that they understand that they matter exactly our right in our words and in our messaging with our kids and making it clear that their worth is never contingent on their performance. It doesn't mean as parents, we don't have standards. It doesn't mean we don't have expectations about how work gets done at home. But instead of focusing on the shiny outcome, focus on their own work ethic, how they're doing scaffold them up and send those messages clearly that you matter to me, no matter what, this sounds like, these are good messages for parents too, but this book is definitely uplifting. So we definitely wanna encourage people to go out and get it. Jennifer B Wallace. Thank you so much for joining us here today. Thank you so much. Thank you.

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