Many marked Suicide Awareness Day Saturday by participating in walks and other events around New York City – especially after the nine active officers lost in the NYPD ranks this year alone.

News 12 spoke with the widow of Officer Michael Caddy who recollected the moments before her husband took his own life.

"He just kept saying, ‘I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry for hurting the kids. I love you,'" said Geizel Caddy.

She said the conversation played over the phone – until she heard a gunshot. Officer Caddy was found behind his Staten Island precinct with a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

"I try and think, was there something I could have said? I don't know," she told News 12.

Out of the darkness of that moment has come a true friendship with Marisa Pizzarro - the widow of Sgt. Joseph Pizzarro who took his own life in Jan. 2018.

Both of their husbands had multiple stressors in their lives, both professionally and at home. Geizel hopes people understand that anything can be overcome.

"Whatever you're going through, there's a solution to everything in life,” she says.